I recently came across the term ‘boommate’ in a 2022 segment on PBS News Hour that popped up in my YouTube feed.
Curious, I did a quick Google search and discovered a flurry of related news stories. The ‘boommate’ trend (of baby boomers choosing to live with other people) is credited with ‘easing the housing crisis ‘ and ‘beating inflation and loneliness. ’
Nearly every article I netted had a positive take on the concept, from the news stories to a reflective blog post titled Boommates! whose author enthusiastically endorses the idea and says it sounds like something he would like to try some day (!)
The power of a catchy word
“Boommate”: what a great bit of marketing!
It’s short and easy to remember. It’s catchy! As the recent July 4th weekend proved, things that go “boom” are hard to ignore. They are flashy, exciting and fun.
Of course, just like fireworks, shared housing should be approached with caution. It’s not something to jump into impulsively. Even if someone is of the same generation as you, that doesn’t guarantee that you will be compatible as home-sharers. Finding the right person to live with isn’t something that happens with a BOOM. It takes time, intention, effort, and good communication about expectations.
Rethinking the language of shared living
‘Boommate’ is a portmanteau of the words ‘Baby boomer’ and ‘roommate.’ The word roommate (or its more casual, shortened form “roomie”) is somewhat puzzling. Why is it still the default way that Americans refer to the people that they live with?
Perhaps it stems from college life–for many of us, having a literal roommate in our college dorm was a rite of passage. After college, however, most adults don’t continue to share an actual room with anyone—unless it’s a romantic partner. And that person we would call our significant other, sweetheart, partner (et cetera).
So why does ‘roommate’ persist, even when it doesn’t reflect the reality of adult shared housing?
In the U.K. the word flatmate is common, and perhaps a more accurate term when referring to people sharing a “flat” (what we here in the United States would call an apartment). The word flatmate reflects a shared space without implying shared bedrooms.
Housemate
Here at shared housing, we use the term housemate. This is perhaps the most common arrangement in which our community members find themselves: sharing a house among multiple people, with each household member having their own room (or rooms). Spaces like the kitchen, bathrooms and den may be shared, but each person has a private space (most often, a bedroom) that is theirs and theirs alone. Not all shared living happens in a house! It might be an apartment, a loft, a suite, a condominium…or even a boat. So perhaps we need a broader term. Living mates? Co-dwellers? Neither one rolls off the tongue the same way “Boommate” does. There’s some who call it “co-living.”
Homemate
We also use the term homemate. (Also spelled as home-mate.). This evokes warmth, intention, and comfort. It suggests a space thoughtfully created and shared with care. A homemate is someone you like and respect, with whom you’ve mutually agreed to build a welcoming environment. You grow into a homemate relationship as you get to know one another and create a home. It’s a mature housemate relationship.
A Practical, People-First Approach
I was drawn to the work of Annamarie and Sharing Housing because of its down-to-earth, common sense approach. No gimmicks, just real advice and support from people with experience. Whether it’s a $15 book, affordable classes, or free blog posts and group calls, there are tools here to suit everyone.
Practical advice and steady progress may not have the same spark and pizazz as a word like Boommate. But, I am of the belief that while a sensible, common sense approach might not be exciting, it is usually the key to lasting success.
What’s Your Word?
Do you, the Sharing Housing community, have your own term for your living situation or the people you live with? Have you coined something better than roommate?
Let us know in the comments—we’re always curious to hear what creative ideas you come up with.
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