One of the most vivid memories I have is entertaining and including my home-mate to join my friends and me for a night of great food, conversation, and lots of laughing. Although neither of my two home-mates were obligated to include me or me include them, we somehow felt it was the most natural thing to do. There was never any awkwardness, resentment, or antagonism. They got along with my friends and I got along with theirs.
But I’m also looking back almost 25 years ago when I was in my early 30s. How would I feel today if I were living with another 50-something home-mate, the prospect of entertaining and the question of including or being included? I know myself well enough to know that I would include my home-mate and even ask if she would like to invite a couple of her friends to join the party.
Fun, Not an Inconvenience
Parties should be fun and never an inconvenience for adults who share a home. If you are currently contemplating home-sharing, carefully review your list of must-haves and wants. If throwing a monthly brunch, a weekly luncheon or an ad-hoc dinner party is an important aspect of your social life be upfront about it and find out whether your potential home-mate is open to being a part of that day’s fête. If she is, include her in the planning, ask for suggestions to spruce of the place. She might be a master in floral decoration and mixing exotic cocktails while you’re whiz at making canapés and pastries. Party prep is a big part of the fun.
The More the Merrier
Dinner parties are also ideal to expand both your social circles. Both you and your home-mate have the opportunity to make new friends, learning you have shared interests, and embarking on new adventures whether it’s a simple coffee date, going on a hike or volunteering together.
Party like it’s 1999
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again…a successful home-sharing environment is one with open communication. If your potential home-mate candidate is someone with no interest in entertaining don’t flirt with the idea that she’ll come around. Or on the other end, if she’s one who needs to have a houseful of people all the time while you require some peace and quiet time, don’t think she’ll settle down. Be open with what you both want from the very moment you sit down to chat and if you’re both a fit then you can party like it’s 1999.
Read more about making shared housing work: Breaking Bread , “I’m Bourgeois Now,” Says the Former Commune Member