Why does life have to be so…uncomfortable?
Life is full of discomforts, both physical and emotional. We all experience illness, injury, fatigue, hormone changes and jet lag. Not to mention stress, anxiety, sadness, anger and disappointment.
Daily life contains plenty of small environmental factors that cause irritation and unease. For instance, it’s the middle of summer where I am here in the Northern Hemisphere. Each day is humid and hot, and a trip outside makes for profuse sweat and an itchy bug bite or two on my bare legs.
When I go indoors, it’s a relief from the blinding sun and oppressive heat, but it comes with its own nuisances. At the grocery store, for instance, the air conditioning is far too cold and gives me goosebumps. The aisles are crowded with other people, and it’s noisy! Music is constantly playing over the store PA system and competing with the sound of fellow shoppers having loud discussions–either on their cell phones or with one another.
Home is the one place you want to feel comfortable.
Home provides a serene haven from an outside world that can be unpredictable and challenging in ways both large and small.
What makes a comfortable home? Temperature has especially been on my mind since it is summer.
Each person’s baseline body temperature differs slightly. Some of us are hotheads, others are cold- natured. Are you and your home-mates in agreement about how cold or hot to keep the household? This may be an area where some compromise is necessary.
I personally dislike air conditioning. I’m cold-natured and most a/c feels unpleasantly icy. I almost always opt for open windows and a ceiling fan, rather than turning on the a/c.
This doesn’t mean I’m unable to live in houses or apartments that have central air conditioning. I just have to find workarounds, like shutting the air vent in my bedroom or wearing a heavy sweatshirt inside the house.
You are the one in complete control of your personal bedroom.
What are the items that you keep around that make your bedroom into a place of respite?
Everyone’s definition of “comfort items” will be different. Maybe it’s a bed piled with multiple pillows, or a wall hung with artwork. Framed photos on the dresser, a couple of potted plants to make the space green. A favorite armchair that you love to curl up in to read or knit.
For me, the items I use to keep my room cozy and comfortable are:
A fan. Air circulation is nice, but I also like the thrummmm created by fan blades. It does well to cover up background noise – like the neighbors blasting music on their back patio, an outside leaf blower, or a home-mate watching TV downstairs. Erratic, unpredictable noise can be aggravating, but the consistent ‘white noise’ created by a fan is soothing (at least to my ears).
Lamps! Table lamps, floor lamps, desk lamps! I often dislike the overhead lighting that comes already installed in spaces. It’s either fluorescent (which I find too bright and harsh) or a yellow color which casts a strange glow over the room. I feel much calmer in a room lit by natural sunlight, or by the bright-but-not-too-bright illumination of several 60 watt light bulbs.
Soft sheets and blankets are another comfort ‘must have.’ Lots of blankets! (as I mentioned, I get cold easily…) I love the feel of clean sheets, too, and launder my sheets every two weeks.
Books. I keep lots of books around. I like to read multiple books at once, and always have a shelf full and three or four titles stacked beside my bed.
Most ‘comfort items’ are relatively cost-effective. A thrift store or Goodwill usually has a selection of lamps, fans, furniture, picture frames, and even bedding. Though if you don’t want previously used sheets and comforters (understandable), stores like Target and Walmart also have plenty of cost-effective options.
The other crucial element of a comfortable home is, of course, good home-mates!
A home-mate is someone who you are close to, in that you live in close proximity and know one another’s daily habits. But since your lives outside the home remain separate and independent, it creates a dynamic that is close, but not too close.
The longstanding, intertwined nature of family, romantic, or close personal friendships can breed conflict as the ups and downs of life inevitably put stress on the relationship. Whereas, a good home-mate relationship, in its ‘not-too-close-ness,’ remains relatively conflict-free. If your home-mates ways of living are compatible with your own, there are few opportunities for upset or discord to arise. You can co-exist peacefully and contentedly.
A home-mate can also serve as a source of support that is warm and familiar, yet also neutral and unbiased.
In the past I’ve had plenty of good home-mates who were not “friends,” per se; our relationship never extended beyond the household. Yet in being good, compatible home-mates, they have been an integral part of my life. For the amount of time that we lived together, they were a stable, enriching presence.
Check out our resources across the website to help you find and keep your own good home-mates. And here’s another of Alexandra DeArmon’s blogs on her personal experiences of being comfortable living with home-mates: Houses, Yards and Connectedness.
photo by Tatiana Syrikova @pexels.com
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