A recent NPR (National Public Radio) article titled Garden gnomes and porch swings: Lively front yards linked to more connected residents summarizes the work of researchers at the University of Buffalo in New York. They surveyed nearly 1,000 residents of Buffalo’s Elmwood Village neighborhood about how connected they felt to where they lived.
The study consistently found that residents who decorated their porch and front yard (with flags, flower pots, pink flamingoes, signs, etc.) reported feeling a strong sense of identity and connection to their community – what the researchers call a “sense of place.” On the other hand, a tall fence or hedges that obstructed a resident’s view of the sidewalk and street correlated to less of a sense of place.
A Sense of Place
The article got me reminiscing about the years I lived in Washington, D.C., where many neighborhood blocks are full of modest “row homes” (one house conjoined to the next). These are fronted with a porch, a set of concrete stairs down to the sidewalk, and maybe a teeny tiny patch of grass.
One of the many pleasures of walking around the city was seeing the unique, innovative ways that residents would beautify their small front stoops. Flowers or cactus plants in pots, a tiny vegetable garden, stone sculptures, wind chimes, red, white and blue bunting in the summer, colorful lights in the winter. The variety was endless.
On my several blocks’ walk to the grocery store or Metro station, especially if the weather was warm, I would often wave or nod to people out tending their plants, or simply sitting and watching the world go by. Though I didn’t know their names or details of their lives, their presence made the area feel friendly and safe. The more people out observing the neighborhood, the less likely something or someone out of the ordinary would go unnoticed. Porch-sitting is conducive to pleasantries and conversation; it also acts as a sort of human surveillance system.
Ok, but what do front yards have to do with shared housing?
Not everyone lives in an urban area. Suburban and rural areas often have homes on several acres of land, with the closest neighbor out of sight. And there aren’t any pedestrians passing by. I brought up this NPR article because it seems to me the concept of a lively, decorated space being connected to a “sense of place” is also applicable to the inside of a house.
Just like the porch and yard are a bridge between a house and its surrounding neighborhood, the common spaces of your home act as places for connection outside the privacy of individual bedrooms.
What are the elements of your home that make you feel a sense of belonging? Is it your favorite armchair with the saggy, so-soft-and-comfortable cushion? A few cherished pieces of artwork on the walls? The years-old-but-still functional tea kettle? The mismatched utensils and plates, shelves of books and small souvenirs that have accumulated over time?
Do you think your space may be welcoming to a potential home-mate?
Part of the process of moving from solo living to living with others is clearing out space. Not only the private rooms that your home-mate will occupy, but the areas that you will share. Tips for this can be found in Sharing Housing: A Guidebook for Finding and Keeping Good Housemates.
No matter what the sharing agreement involves, you want your home-mates to feel a “sense of belonging” in the house. How this is accomplished depends on your unique arrangement, and what belongings your home-mates will bring in. Maybe they have artwork, furniture or decorations of their own that would look great in the living room.
Even if a home-mate has very few belongings or furniture of their own, you will likely still need to adjust or rearrange your shared spaces. If you’ve been living alone, you may not even realize that your current set-up is silently messaging “this is a solo space.”
Is the dining room table stacked high with magazines, papers and unopened mail, leaving enough room for only one or two people to sit and eat? Is there only one comfortable chair in the living room, and no other couch or rocking chair?
A Home Has People In It
This doesn’t mean that your home has to be meticulously clean, with spotless walls and furniture. A home has people in it – individuals who sometimes accumulate a bit of clutter.
I am a neatnik who values cleanliness, but a house that’s TOO antiseptic seems unnatural. I want to live in a house, not do surgery in it! A space that looks and feels “lived in” feels like home to me. I think it is why I prefer to live with people. A blank apartment with white walls and wooden floors, with only me there to fill it, would just feel gaping and empty.
In any case, evaluate the layout of your common spaces – especially if you envision a household conducive to you and home-mates relaxing together. Cooking, eating, watching TV, reading, et cetera. Small tweaks to the layout or decor may be all that’s needed for both you and a home-mate to feel more of a sense of belonging.
Here’s another post that will interest you: How to Manage Personal Items When Sharing Housing.
Images by Adobe Stock and Freepik.
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