“I have the desire of my heart” is what Ginny says about her current living arrangement.
She lives in the in-law apartment that belongs to her friend, Pam. Originally, the apartment was built for elderly parents who have since passed on. The apartment has an interior door offering access to Pam’s house, no oven, and a second floor for storage. It wasn’t a space Pam would rent out to anyone.
Living With a Friend
She offered it to Ginny, her friend of forty-plus years, a friendship that includes the years of raising children and the pain of divorces. They would talk about being old ladies together dreaming of how much fun it would be to have rocking chairs on a porch staring at the ocean. They thought, why not live together as seniors. Ginny says, “We talked about my moving into the apartment off and on, I didn’t think that place had enough room, that it wouldn’t work. When she invited me, I wasn’t sure, but we trust each other. I finally decided it was worth a try.”
They’ve been living in this arrangement for six years.
The door is unlocked all the time. The pets come and go. They walk back and forth to check in with each other. They have dinner together a couple of times a month. Ginny bakes in Pam’s kitchen and does her laundry in Pam’s house.
Ginny says, “[Pam and I] share a deep desire to be whole people spiritually. Everything (in our society) works towards separateness, if we don’t learn how to give, we forget how.”
Talking about the arrangement, “In this place, I can walk up the hill to a farm where I can see the mountains in the distance, I can play in dirt in the garden, I can play with the cat and dog. I’m also close to the main roads. My children and grandchildren live close by. I have been given exactly what I wanted and I didn’t even know I could ask for it.”