Ellen Dudley here again and now, as I try to write this my husband has died. In the midst of everything, he got rsv. I’m glad I got to see him at the nursing home during the afternoon before he died. He was breathing hard and he tried to say something to me but I haven’t any idea what it was.
Meltdown
The poor contractor is still working on the bed/sitting room but it’s Sunday so he’s not here today. Alas, it was 5 below zero when I came downstairs this morning and it doesn’t seem to have warmed up much since then. It may be 20 degrees now but not much more. I am having a meltdown about money because I will now lose Tony’s social security. My income will be cut in half at the same time as my mortgage payment has just risen to cover an 18 percent property tax hike. I don’t think getting a home-mate is going to cover the expenses in this great ark of a house.
As if that all wasn’t enough…
In the midst of all this, I had to go to Lunenburg, Massachusetts twice to pick up two loads of flooring for the bed/sitting room. Oh, and getting my husband cremated is costing me nearly four thousand dollars. I feel like I am being overwhelmed with expenses. I have no idea how to cover it all. And then I’m trying to talk on the phone with family who can’t stop bawling. Oh boy, as Gilda Radner used to say, (or at least I think it was Gilda) “It’s always something!!”
So at any rate, my contractor comes back tomorrow to finish the flooring, trim the windows and whatever else is left. That includes baseboards and dummy heating covers to cover the copper pipe from the boiler (another unexpected $1000). I can’t keep track of it all, but the room is going to be beautiful when it’s done.
Now, if only spring would come…
I’d be a lot happier. The thing that really drove me around the bend was when I called my friend Nancy in Arizona to tell her about Tony. She told me she had to put her beautiful, 27 year old, black and white paint pony down last week. I’d like to go see her but I can’t afford it. Seems to be my new mantra: I can’t afford it!
My friend Rachel called me from Hawai’i to tell me she was sorry about Tony. We had a nice long conversation. Everyone has been calling me and that is nice but I don’t see my therapist ’til Tuesday and I forgot to inform Vermont about my medical and my car insurance has gone crazy and this inflation is killing me but I still cannot vote for a Republican, ever, because they lie, cheat and steal. The government can’t run because they have a majority of one in the House and all they do is stall the workings.
Ah, well. I have included a picture of Aaron, my contractor, working in the closet he just built for the bed/sit. He is meticulous and I am glad for that. I am still alive, and I am glad for that. Now if someone would just start a “Go Fund Me” campaign for me, I’d be glad for that, too!
Catch up on Ellen’s earlier posts about sharing her home: The Time Has Come to Share My House, and Hurry Up and Wait.
My heart goes out to you. Growing old(er) is hard enough without all the added events that you are going through. I wish you the best, and I’ll be following you. //// While this may be of small — or no — consolation to you, I am single, living alone, and I’ve been really down lately. You have reminded me of how very much I have to be grateful for.