It’s the Holiday Season?

Cooler mornings, leaves changing color. It’s after Labor Day and most places in the United States are experiencing the first signs of autumn. Halloween candy is already on sale at the grocery store. One of my colleagues says she saw some targeted online ads hinting at Christmas shopping. My goodness! Is it already time to start planning for the holidays? Businesses and marketers seem to think so, at least. 

It all got me thinking about households, and the diverse ways that people celebrate. Family traditions are similar in some ways (the ubiquity of decorating with a living room Christmas tree and fireplace-hung stockings, say) but also very specific and particular in others (my family has handed down the same recipes for holiday treats like homemade Chex Mix, pecan tarts, cheese biscuits and a chocolate-chip confection we call ‘Kookie Brittle’ for generations). The holidays can be a great opportunity for connection with your current home-mates, whether it be swapping Thanksgiving recipes (and/or leftovers) or adopting your own practices that are a hybrid of (or completely different from) the ones you had growing up. 

On the other hand,

…holidays are out-of-the-ordinary days or periods of time. They could potentially be a bump in the road even if your relationship with your home-mates is otherwise sanguine. Perhaps one home-mate wants to throw a party or host out-of-town relatives for several days and nights, while another will be leaving for a week in order to visit their own distant family members. Any of these scenarios requires some negotiation outside of your normal day-to-day interactions. 

Or perhaps your home-mate gives you a Christmas gift, and you did not get them anything in return! This happened to me a few years ago. My home-mate Kara (who was also the homeowner) surprised me on Christmas day with a very nice mug and gift card from a neighborhood tea shop – just as I was leaving the house to go attend a family celebration. It hadn’t occurred to me to get Kara a Christmas gift, and in the moment I was chagrined. Though, ultimately I don’t think she minded. Kara enjoyed shopping and sharing Christmas with all the people in her life. In true holiday spirit, she gifted for the joy of it, not because she expected something in return. 

In the end, it all evened out. Whereas my family and I are not big on Christmas gift-giving, I have a personal practice of baking cookies for my friends and family on their birthdays. Kara had a sweet tooth, so I made sure to whip up a batch of peppermint chocolate cookies on the morning of her January birthday. I also include home-mates in my pool of people that I love to buy small souvenirs for whenever I travel somewhere new (which is often). 

If you and your home-mates are compatible

…then the holiday season and special occasions like birthdays shouldn’t be opportunities for conflict; they should present opportunities for fun! You can buy or craft small gifts for one another or decorate the house; grill burgers for Memorial Day or hand out Halloween candy to neighborhood children. 

If you live alone, the motivation is harder to do anything out-of-the-ordinary. I know that if I lived by myself, I would never do anything celebratory. I am practical by nature, and almost never plan and host parties of my own accord. It is other people, with different personalities and habits than my own, who break me out of my workaday ‘party-pooper’ mode.

Secret Santa

I’ve also been thinking about holidays because I recently participated in a workplace Secret Santa gift exchange. I work at a small hotel in Alaska, where we threw an employee ‘Christmas in August’ party on August 25th. 

Having ‘fake holidays’ is somewhat of a tradition in Alaska. Another common occasion is a Halloween-themed July 31st, since the end of July is typically the time when nighttime darkness begins to return after several weeks and months of constant sunlight during the far-Northern-summer ‘Midnight Sun’. In past years I’ve also attended summertime St. Patrick’s Day, Mardi Gras, Thanksgiving and Oktoberfest themed parties. 

As for this most recent Christmas in August, I was surprised at how fun it was. It was an afternoon where business was slow, so employees had extra time during the workday to open presents, eat cookies, and get creative about decorating the lobby fireplace. There were lots of laughs as we took turns opening gifts and guessing each person’s Secret Santa. I was reminded of the fact that doing special, out-of-the-ordinary things is important. Working hard and practicality are good, but so is taking a break every now and then. 

Holidays are necessary!

21st century holidays have been consumed by commercialism–Black Friday sales, anyone? But, historically, holidays have to do with the seasons. Life is hard work! It is necessary to break the drudgery with, for example, social gatherings and edible treats to honor the Winter solstice. Or indulging in a leisurely afternoon at the local swimming pool to mark the beginning or end of summer. Celebrations are how we connect with other people, whether they be friends, relatives, community members, those you work with or those you live with.

Here are more posts about home-mates and holidays: Entertaining and Making Your Home-mate Feel Included and What Are You Doing for the Holidays?