Strength and Flexibility

It might be a stretch (pun intended!) for me to use yoga as a metaphor for sharing housing, but, that’s exactly what this blog post tries to do. Hopefully, in the process, I will make some sense!

I started practicing yoga back in 2009, when I began attending classes at a local studio next door to my workplace. I thought that it seemed like a good way to meet new people and get some exercise.

I quickly learned that yoga is more than just an exercise routine. It originated in India over one thousand years ago! Downward dog and sun salutations are specifically “hatha” yoga, which is just one branch of an ancient, complex lineage of philosophy and practice. I am still learning new things even after years of reading, classes and workshops.

Similarly, sharing housing has turned out to be a much deeper and more nuanced concept and practice than I initially realized. I’ve always lived with other people, and thought nothing of it, but the older I get and the more experience I gain, I’ve come to pay attention to the array of skills involved in creating a home with other individuals. Individuals that we here at Sharing Housing call “homemates”– people who are not friends, family or romantic partners but initial strangers, whom we seek out because their ways of living are compatible with our own.

“Know Thyself”

Bending into the poses of a yoga routine gives the student time and space to focus on nothing except what’s going on inside their body and mind. The poses offer a metaphor for the discomforts and tribulations of everyday life “off the (yoga) mat.”

Within a class, the teacher is there constantly prompting students to breathe. This is also a core lesson of yoga: mindful, deliberate breathing, which tones both the cardiovascular system and the nervous system. Slow, even breathing interrupts the mind/body’s loop of heart-racing and shallow breathing that can happen when we get stressed out.

Sharing Housing, similarly, is a means of self-study. Sure, it requires living with others, but in order to live with others you first have to “know thyself.” How do you like to live? Do you require lots of peace and quiet from day to day, or do you enjoy having constant background noise like the TV or radio? Do you love animals, and enjoy having a household with not only people but also pets? (as a few examples).

As individuals, our sense of personal identity and wellbeing does not exist in a vacuum. Once homemates move in, they can provide both a mirror and a support system. Personal identity and daily purpose is largely defined by our relationships with other people! Not just family and loved ones, but those people in the community,  or in our own households, that we have daily interactions with.

Flexibility

“I could never do yoga!” I’ve heard so many people say. “I’m not flexible at all.”

Well, how do you suppose yogis get flexible? Even the most limber ones weren’t initially able to touch their toes and place their forehead on their knees. They became flexible through the practice of yoga.

Similarly, I’ve heard plenty of people say, “Oh, I could never live with someone else! I’m too set in my ways.”

If you’ve lived alone for years, it’s only natural that you would be used to doing almost everything a certain way. Alone within the walls of your home, you feel “set” and unmalleable.

But, no one is completely incapable of change. In fact, it’s good to remain flexible and open to adjusting our ways of life. It can be a challenge to coordinate with other people, make agreements and compromises, and learn new and better ways of going about our daily lives. But, ultimately, it keeps us engaged and enlivened.

Strength

Almost every yoga pose requires a combination of both muscle strength and flexibility.

Strong and flexible: initially, this seems like a paradox. But something that is too strong and rigid is prone to break. Hold your ground too hard, and you might snap! Something that is too flexible, on the other hand, hems and haws all over the place. By never committing to anything, it never makes any progress.

Think of a big, mighty oak or aspen tree swaying in the wind. Large bridges or skyscrapers are often engineered to slightly “give” from side to side during heavy winds. Pliability offers the greatest strength of all.

Similarly, in order to live with others, we need strength. Every relationship requires a strong framework of boundaries. A good homemate agreement begins with each individual’s steadfast  “must-haves” and “can’t live withouts.”

Every relationship also requires some amount of compromise and “wiggle room”. We are all individuals with unique wants and needs; our preferences will not be exactly the same as anyone else’s! Even when living with the most compatible homemate, discussion is needed to clarify how exactly each person wants the shared spaces to be used.

Are any sharing housing blog readers yoga practitioners? Can you think of any other parallels between a yoga class and shared housing?

 

You may also enjoy this blog post: https://sharinghousing.com/the-puzzle-of-shared-housing/

Image by freepik