This is the first post from Ellen Dudley as she sets out to home share.
My name is Ellen Dudley and I am nearly in the market for a home-mate. I am living alone after putting my husband in a nursing home because of his severe dementia. I miss him like crazy.
We had to sell our vacation house in Hawaii in order not to have “too much” and have to pay for my husband’s care instead of the state paying for it with Medicaid. We actually built that house with our own four hands. I used the proceeds I had left to pay my mortgage on our Vermont house. So here I am, rattling around like a BB in a boxcar in this big ark of a house, wishing I didn’t have to spend another bunch of money to make it a livable home share for two unrelated people. But that’s what I must do.
The House
You can tell that the original house is 1800 or so, because the mill on the brook changed from a pit saw to a circular saw around 1800, and the exposed timber frame in the kitchen was sawn on the pit saw. In 1999 we added an office and garage, where I scratched a quote from Samuel Beckett in the concrete floor. It says “Try. Fail. Fail again. Fail better.” A motto for life if I ever heard one. Above the office/garage is my master bedroom and bath.
The old part of the house includes an unfinished bed-sitting room with a window overlooking the beaver pond. I have come to love that beaver pond. I am fiercely protective of it. My future home-mate must understand this.
The Pond
One summer day, I found a car full of out-of-staters bathing in the pond (soap and all). I ran down there to tell them to get the h*** out of my pond, or the giant snapping turtles would bite off their manhood! (I put it much more graphically, but they got the message and got lost.) I love the wildlife in the pond and don’t appreciate people mucking it up – it is the habitat of the snapping turtles! I wouldn’t dream of going in that water because it belongs to them and the beavers. And, of course, the snapping turtles might snap at me. I had one bite my toe when I was a kid, fishing barefoot. I have never forgotten!
So, back to the bed-sit: I have been planning a finished room, overlooking the pond on one side and the yard on the other, so I can rent it out, stay in my house and have some company. I requested an estimate from my contractor to finish this space and he came back to me with a couple of questions that I answered. So now I wait to find out how much it will cost to put down a floor, trim the windows, build a closet, put up some drywall, paint, and so on and so on. I’ll be back here to tell you when there’s more to report.
The Dog
If I had a home-mate I could do a lot more, like visiting the kids in Oregon for more than a few days at time, while my giant dog is at home in Vermont. He is a 155 lb “rottie,” and loves only women. So, my future home-mate has got to be a dog-loving female!
Here’s another post that may interest you: Staying Home by Sharing Housing.
Greetings Ellen,
Having just sold my hundred year old home, I understand your interest in home sharing. I’m a lover of both animals and ponds and would like to talk further if you have not found this suitable housemate.
Hello and thank you for the posting about getting your home ready for a roommate.
I am also thinking about this .
I have the space and would not feel so isolated with a person living here.
I am a bit afraid to find the right person .
I, too , have a wonderful dog. He is smaller than yours but he is my best friend .
Please keep us informed on how it is going for you.
I would do like to hear how you are doing and proceeding with this.
Best,
Deb
Hi Ellen. You are blessed to live in Vermont. My name is Christy I go by Chris. I grew up in Connecticut (Glastonbury). Have lived in Dallas for a while and in Asheville n Carolina. My favorite place. By way of Covid I ended up in Arkansas. At the moment preparing to get back to Asheville til I saw your post. I love dogs. Big dogs. I have a lab sheepdog mix. She gets along with all animals and people she is a social bug. Anyway I am 67 and a retired RN. I have been writing a book. Not sure where it’s going. I’m about three quarters of the way thru with it. I’m also an avid reader .. more than a writer so I will look up some of your writing. Happy day
Ellen,
I love the well-written sentence describing your feelings of a BB in a boxcar in the ark of a house. It was so visual and relatable.
Feliz Tanga
It would help to hear where the house is.
Hi Ellen. My name is Darlene Kelley. I am so sorry to hear about your husband. The situation must be very difficult. I live in Vancouver, WA. I am 66 and in good health. I’ve been looking for just the right place for a year now. I have lived in the same house for 38 yrs and in Vancouver for 44 yrs. I am retired, many, many years of customer service. I have spent the last 10 yrs or so pet/housesitting. Absolutely LOVE dogs! Cats! All wildlife & nature! I don’t have a criminal record. I don’t do drugs. I don’t smoke (I cannot be around cigarette smoke not even outside!) I enjoy a glass of wine every now & then. I have excellent credit & excellent references! I am very clean/tidy & don’t have a problem with pitching in with chores, inside & outside. My passions, and I do mean “passions” are dogs, hiking/nature & gardening. I enjoy reading. One of my favorite authors is Barbara Kingsolver. I enjoy reading Samuel Beckett! My favorite poet is Mary Oliver. She writes about all the things that make life worth living. I love music, all kinds; there are a few exceptions; rap, heavy metal. I know what hard work is and am not afraid to tackle difficult jobs. I have lived with the same partner for 38 yrs. But need to spread my wings & fly before it becomes impossible. Our relationship, rather than being loving partners, has become an owner (he owns his house), and I am a rent-paying tenant. He knows I’ve been looking for the right place & he is supportive. If you would like to know more about me, I would love to talk!